A subject on another web site got me thinking.
The subject was what do you wish you knew about autism before you got your dx.
My first response is that with all the information out there I was pretty well armed. What I wish I knew how to deal with was the nay sayers or the people saying oh he will be just fine.
When you think there is something wrong with your child, you have the team of people who try to make you feel better and ease your worries. When it is something physical you can hear it in their voices that they believe you but they want to offer sympathy.
When the issue is mental then that is a whole different issue.
When the speech is delayed you hear the following, some kids are late talkers, why should he talk when everyone does if for him. He is just like kid xyz and so on. Oh just wait till he is older he will catch up.
Some of the most outdated advice is just wait and see. No child was harmed by receiving early interventions. Not receiving intervention because of waiting and seeing can be harmful.
Now with autism there are so many early flags that parents see. Most parents will comment on them to family friends and doctors. Parents then get blown off by everyone with the child will grow out of it, it is just a stage, you are over concerned. It can't be anything serious because your child isn't sitting in a corner rocking and banging their head against a wall.
Hate to tell you all but sometimes it is a lot of little things. If a parent is concerned instead of offering platitudes offer advice of what makes you think that. How long has it been going on. Have you done any research, have you approached your Dr about it. If you feel you got blown off by the Dr. are you getting a second opinion.
This makes a parent feel better than being blown off by everyone. Due to the fact is there is something wrong there is more anger and guilt.
Guilt of why didn't I listen to my internal voice more. Anger of why couldn't anyone support me when I was trying to say something was wrong. Then there is the grieving of why you don't have a normal child.
No one wants to hear their child is delayed in anyway, friends and family are generally the first sounding boards that the parents have. Some people just don't know how to respond, or really have no clue as to if there could be something wrong. Then there are the people that see the same issues as the parent but don't want to be seen as a bad person for confirming the parents fears. There is a huge mind your own business mentality, but that hurts the child in the end.
My advice is that if you have a friend or family member saying they think something is wrong with their child. Don't give platitudes, but ask why do you feel this, what have you noticed, how long as this been happening. Tell them that you will be there not to tell them everything will be fine and the child will grow out of it, but you will be there to hold their hand during the journey
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