Reading on another site the person was offended that her toddler wasn't invited to a birthday party due to the toddlers food allergies. This really upset the mom thinking her child was being singled out. Over the course of the thread people were sympathizing with her. Saying on how the birthday mom wasn't thinking and so on. Now mind that the child was invited to a different party by same family this one is a pot luck so the mom of the food allergy child would have to bring a dish to pass.
Then I decided to give my opinion. I agreed with hosting mom. When you have a young child and you are at a party it is very stressful making sure your child doesn't accidentally get anything. It is also stressful because you are seen as a hovering parent. The parent doesn't have a good time. You go home exhausted just from the mental part.
So when my son was younger if we were invited to a party and I was the only one I could trust about his food allergies, I left him at home. My husband has never had an issue with staying home. Now that we know that our son is also on the spectrum we tend to spend more time avoiding having him in large loud gatherings.
I have been ok with how we deal with things for a few years now. It works for us, I get to see adults and talk adult. Our son is safe and away from potential food allergens. My husband gets to stay home and not talk with other adults.
It is very hard to view things as not being an insult. It is very hard to step back and say hey maybe this person does have my best interest at heart. It is hard to say hey I am offended, but my child won't remember so what is the big deal
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