Saturday, September 24, 2011

Finding resources

Took G to the mall today.  There was the man with his 2 kids.  English was a second language to them.  His son starting getting into G face.  The man reprimanded him and apologized to me.  G had ignored the whole incident stared past the kids like he wasn't there. The guy then said his son was autistic.  I told him no problem G is also and I am working on his socialization skills. 
 (there was more like he was trying to get his son to engage G in conversation, not G strong suit so that didn't go over well). 

Then he was telling me about his daughter who is also on the spectrum, she is 6 looks like she is 4 (he wanted to know how old G was, told him almost 4 who looks like he is 6). She is non verbal and getting very few services.  He had not a clue that in NYS as long that there is  a medical dx the child is medicaid eligible.  He didn't know where to find resources for his daughter.  He was relying on the school district and was being let down.  He didn't know that if he disagreed with the IEP he didn't have to sign it, and he can fight for other things.

He and his wife have no support for the kids, it is just them.  By the time he left I had given him a list of different resources to look into. 

Over all I felt bad for this family, just because, I know that if I wasn't such a research person, I also wouldn't know half the things about autism that I do.  It also made me realize that with a lot of places you get a dx and sent on your merry way.  With the advice you can use our agency or not. But there isn't a ton of follow up given. Plus it depends on where you get the dx from. 

Not only are the kids over looked but the family as a whole gets overlooked. 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Childhood memories

Like any good parent I want my children to have good memories of their childhood.  I want those memories to be of the things we did that were out of the ordinary.  Not mom got home, cleaned cooked dinner Dad got home he ate and we just watched tv every night.

This evening my son wanted to go to the park with 2 sandboxes as he puts it.  Well the only issue with that was I was cooking dinner at the time.  He didn't like that answer.  So he proceeded to lay on the floor and allow me the pleasure of hearing his displeasure.

So I told him if he would calm down, we would pack up dinner and have a picnic at the park with 2 sand boxes.  He stopped the screaming, the funny part was I had been thinking of doing a simple dinner and just eating at the park.  So it wasn't like the idea just came to me.

So that is what we did, packed up dinner at ate the park, life was good, till the rain started

It hurts to be a parent

I know this topic has been gone over before by many a person.  But I have to say it hurts to be a parent.
 
You have the parents that hurt because their kids get in with the wrong crowd, turn to drugs drinking and sex.  The parents then ask themselves "what did I do wrong."

You have the parents that hurt because their child is being hurt in non physically ways by their peers.  In this case as a parent you want to give your child all the tools they need to make the hurt go away.

Then there are the physical hurts that you as a parent cannot make go away.  The your child is in pain, and you can only hold their hand and sympathize. Now yes I realize I have it good, a lot better than most my child isn't chronically or terminally ill.

It doesn't negate the fact my child is in pain.  She has been in constant pain for over 2 weeks now.  We still don't have a concrete answer for what is going on.  They think it is narrowed down to 2 things.  In order to get any real answers she has to go under and a scope inserted into her urethra. 

She is scared, and in pain.  She lashes out verbally or withdraws into a book.  How can I fault her for either thing.  There is nothing I can do but say yes you can have more pain killer.  If I suggest a hot pack she bites my head off.  She is cranky and miserable and I really can't do a thing for her.

It hurts to see her like this.  It scares me to have to take her into the hospital knowing she is being put under to be scoped.  It scares me not knowing what is really going on.

It sucks to be a parent at times

Friday, September 16, 2011

Bullying

With a teenager and preteen this is a scary subject. 48 hours is doing a program on it tonight.
I am sitting here talking to my teen wondering where the difference is between when I was bullied and to the bullying now.  We are talking about 25 years, (yes I am old). 

Right now the main factor we have come up with is internet, and social networks.  I didn't have internet but I was bullied.  I was called fat, ugly, scum this happened day after day after day.  I never told an adult or teacher.  But one day I got fed up and lashed out physically.  Did I win the fight not physically.  But the person never bullied me again.

Now my daughter has had a couple of episodes with a girl bullying her on the internet.  When I first found out about it, I made her defriend the girl on facebook.  Why she had her as a friend, I still don't know.  But once the girl was defriended my childs life became better.

Of all the things to be scared of, I shouldn't be scared to send my child to school.  For fear that they will be harassed verbally and then physically

Thursday, September 1, 2011

Jack of all trades master of none

 I am my father's daughter, my mother use to say it was better to be a Jack of all trades master of none, this was said in reference to my father.

My father after one of his heart attacks took up wood working to a degree.  He didn't have any fancy tools, just the basics saw, hammer, square, nails and that was about it.  He could look at a piece of outdoor furniture, say an A frame swing.  Take a few measurements, then pull out a spiral notebook sketch, then get his materials and make it. He did the same with a bread bin he saw and liked.  He also made a potato bin and onion bin.

When he got board with those, he made a cradle for a pregnant sister in law.  That was a beautiful piece of work.  But now a days people who foo foo it because it was hand made so of course it wasn't safe.  He made me a secretery  desk that I was not able to bring with me. It had a flip top and a 3 tier book shelf.  Again all he did was look at it got and idea sketched it and poof it was made.

Now how am I my father's daughter, I have the same trait.  But for me it is more the scrapbooking arts and crafts area.  I can look at a layout for scrapbooking and say hey I can do that and improve on it.  I get an idea in my head then the next thing I know it is done.  So yes I guess I am my father's daughter